Path: Temple (2.)

16. 03. 2018
6th international conference of exopolitics, history and spirituality

I didn't understand him. I did not understand the question he asked me and I looked at him incomprehensibly. But another question appeared in his head. I understood that. He asked if he would die. The thought was accompanied by fear and anxiety that gripped my stomach. I looked intently at the man. His mouth smiled, but his eyes were serious. Too serious. Everyone around fell silent and waited for me to say.

I did not know if the question that occurred to me had been put by him and so I said, "I do not know exactly, rare and clean what you ask, but if you ask if you are at risk of death, then I do not. But your body is sick. "

He stepped closer. My eyes blurred again, and I felt like I was in a fog. My head spun and I reached out to grab him. I touched his shoulder. The taste in his mouth intensified. I saw blood and honey before my eyes.

"Copper. Too much honey, "I said very hard, because my mouth was suddenly stuck with something sweet and dense. Pictures before the eyes began to appear, but before they got the shape and firm outlines, it stopped. Now I knew that someone had interrupted this process intentionally.

The man smiled, took my hand off my shoulder and said, "Yes, Shabad, my body is sick. It's called diabetes. "

The atmosphere in the hall relaxed. The man turned and walked back to his seat.

A woman approached. Young and beautiful. Braided hair wrapped in a beautiful hairstyle around the head. Lids painted with lazurite powder. It smelled of cinnamon. She grabbed my hand. Her hand was warm and soft. The eyes were the color of the sky. I looked enchantingly into those blue eyes and saw desire. A desire that will never be fulfilled. Then I looked at her belly. It was empty inside - her womb is barren. Heavy sadness flooded me. Severe and painful. The woman dropped my hand, bowed her head, and I saw the eyes in those eyes. I was in pain. The heart contracted and heavier. I stopped her by moving my hand and she came back. I didn't want her pain and I wanted to get rid of my pain. The pain of the soul - the hopelessness she passed on to me. I didn't know what I was doing at the time. My head began to hum and I was afraid I would fall from a high seat to the ground. With my hands pressed to the woman's temples, I was just careful not to fall, not to do something that would upset my grandmother or great-grandmother or the people around me. I had a blank in my head and at the same time, as if images were escaping from it, which I could not capture or perceive properly. I didn't notice what I said.

The feeling began to recede, and the woman cautiously but definitely took my palms out of her sleep. She smiled. Her face was red and she breathed quickly. She went to her place. She sat down, looked at the man upstairs and nodded.

I was tired, confused, and very thirsty. The young man, sitting on the edge, got up and left. After a while, he returned with a glass full of water and handed it to me. I thanked him and drank the water. I was no longer afraid, but I longed for the presence of my grandmother and great-grandmother. I longed for a familiar environment where there was peace and where there were things I didn't understand.

An old man in a long woolen cloak approached me. I didn't want to be overwhelmed by feelings that were unpleasant to me and that confused me. The man stopped in front of me, dropped me to the ground, and lowered himself so that I could see into his eyes, "For now, that's enough, Subhad. I'll take you to Grandma. You'll rest. ”He stood up and took my hand.

"Am I going home?" I asked, hoping to say yes.

"Not yet. When you rest, Ellit will take you through the temple. Don't you want to get lost tomorrow? But don't worry, you'll be home in the afternoon. ”His voice was reassuring and there were no feelings. He was taking me out of the room, and I was looking forward to being close to my grandmother and great-grandmother again.

We walked down the hall, past statues of gods and sacred animals. The journey seemed long. We finally reached the room where the two women were waiting. I yanked my hand from the man's palm and ran to my grandmother. Great-grandmother glared at me. The man smiled.

"Hello, Ninnamarene," said the grandmother and offered him a seat. She handed her hand to her grandmother to take me away, but the man stopped her.

"Let him stay, lady. Maybe it will not understand everything, but our conversation should be present. It's her destiny, not ours. "

Great-grandmother agreed. She reached out, pulled me close, and sat me on her lap. That was unusual.

They talked together long, and I did not understand much of what they said. They talked about the ziggurat that belonged to An and An's, who is the master of fate. They talked about Ereškigal - the lady who rules the land from where he is not returning. They spoke of Enki, the great Ego, the god who was my patron. Then I fell asleep, exhausted experiences.

I woke up with my head resting on my great-grandmother's shoulder. Grandma spread the food they brought us on the table. My head hurt. Great-grandmother gave me a drink and then called the temple service to prepare a bath for me. She put her hands back on the top of my head, slowly circling her fingers over the scalp and neck, and I felt the pain subside.

When I returned from the bath, Ellit was sitting at the table, talking quietly to her grandmother in a language I did not understand.

After the meal, Ellit accompanied me with a ziggurat. We went through most of the space in the first degree. Grandmother and great-grandmother talked to the one they called Ninnamaren. Then we finally went home. Ellit came with us. From then on, I was her charge. Her task now will be to accompany me to the ziggurat every day and to oversee that I carry out the tasks assigned to me.

Ellit came from the landscape of Ha.Bur, which lay somewhere far to the south, far from where my home was. She spoke a language full of melodic words and her task was to teach me that language. She was a diligent and resourceful teacher, a kind and understanding friend, a protector, as well as a strict supervisor of the tasks assigned to me.

At that time, my teaching focused mainly on reading and writing, recognizing herbs and minerals. It wasn't too hard, because I came in contact with it all at Grandma's house. They also taught me how to control my feelings and ideas so that they do not frighten me and only emerge when I want to. Unlike reading or writing, this was more of a game. A game played with me by the kind Ninnamaren and sometimes his helpers.

Years passed. Ellit became a young woman who now devoted more to learning treatment than to her trustee. Ninnamaren was also La.zu - an oil doctor whose medicines were mainly used to treat the skin or get into the body through the skin. He was a wise man who knows the secrets of oil. My great - grandmother was A.zu - a water doctor, who - knows the secrets of water and whose medicines were used mainly internally. Ellit was able to combine both knowledge well, but her dream was to focus primarily on Šipir Bel Imti - surgery. Grandmother said she had great talent and often let her do minor procedures. Ellit became part of our family, my sister and my grandmother and great-grandmother's invaluable helper.

One day, when we left home from the ziggurat, I was panicked. My skin seemed to be small at once, and it pushed me forward. Elit first laughed and joked, but after a moment she grew serious and added to the step. Towards the end of the journey we were almost running. Our grandmother and grandmother were waiting in front of us.

"Go wash and change. Quick! ”The great-grandmother ordered, frowning. Then she said a few sentences with Ellit in her language, of which I understood only that her exceptional talent would be needed today.

We reached a house I already knew. The Nubian was waiting for us at the gate. Great-grandmother jumped out of the car unusually briskly for her age. She ran to the house and gave orders to the Nubians along the way. Grandma instructed me to stay, and Ellit ordered her to go to help my great-grandmother. We went to the part intended for servants.

The house was full of disease. People lay on deckchairs with a fever, and those who could still stand on their feet moved gracefully around and gave them drinks. The cold began to rise around my spine again and I couldn't stop it. There was death, disease, pain. Grandma went around the beds and sent out those who were still able to walk. She ripped the soiled sheets from the beds and ordered me to burn them in the yard. Everything took place at high speed. Then Ellit came.

"You have to go to the house," she said, glancing at the situation and continuing my work. She told the maid, who was still well, to boil the water. A lot of water. She sent our coachman to help her.

I entered the house. To the house where I first met the secret of birth and death. Inside, the scent that greeted me for the first time was overshadowed by the smell of disease.

"Here I am, Shabad," the grandfather called from above. I ran up the stairs and missed the maid. I went into the room. There was a man on the bed who could sing so beautifully and beside his son. A beautiful baby boy is skinned with brown eyes and brown eyes but with light hair on his dead mother.

The man looked at me with a look of fear. Fear for my life and the life of my son. A son who was sweaty with a fever and lying helplessly on the bed. I approached them. The boy looked embarrassed, but he would survive. It was worse with the man. In addition to illness, he had an open wound on his leg that festered and further weakened his diseased body.

I knew what would follow. The leg could no longer be saved. I called the maid and had the boy transferred. I wrapped him in a damp sheet and ordered him to drink boiled water with a decoction of herbs. Then I went for Grandma and Ellit.

Meanwhile, the Nubian had set up a table in the bathroom. He scrubbed it thoroughly with salt, which he rinsed off with boiling water. They carried a sick man with a coachman. Great-grandmother ordered them to undress him and burn his clothes. She washed the man's naked body and I helped her. That was the first time I saw a man's body. Then we laid him on a long table. Silently, Grandma began preparing tools. Ellit brought a drink that relieved my pain and put him to sleep. There was terror in the man's eyes. Terror of death and the pain that was to follow. Great-grandmother looked at me and nodded. I took his head, pressed my hands to his temples, and tried to think of the blue sky, the trees swaying slightly in the warm wind, the sea whose waves hit the shores lightly. The man calmed down and fell asleep. They sent me away.

I left the bathroom and went to look at the boy. The wet wrap reduced the fever and the boy slept. The maid wiped his sweaty hair the color of grain. I checked the water. It was overcooked and contained herbs. I ordered the boy to be unwrapped and washed. Then I took a container of oil medicine made by Ellit from my great-grandmother's bag and began rubbing the boy's body. We then wrapped it up again and left the baby to sleep. Sleep gives him strength.

I went out into the yard, to part of the servants' house. The sick were now lying on the porch in front of the house on clean sheets, and those who were still able to walk were cleaning the inside of the house. It was OK.

The Nubian came out of the house. The foot was wrapped in a bloody cloth. Eyes fluttered helplessly. I touched him lightly to notice me. I took a spade and walked to a tree at the end of the garden. I started digging a pit, into which we then bury a sick leg. The Nubian began to shake. The shock of the events came. I buried the man's leg and turned to him. I showed with my hand where to sit. I knelt in front of him so I could grab his head. I put my hands on my scalp and with gentle movements I began to massage, accompanied by incantation formulas, my scalp and neck. The man began to calm down. I continued until he fell asleep. The branches of the trees protected him from the sun. I went to the bed sheet to cover it. For sure.

The child was still asleep under the supervision of a maid. The great-grandmother was descending the stairs. There was fatigue on her face. I motioned for the maid to go prepare a drink for her and went to her.

"It was a hard day, Shubad," she said wearily, looking at the child. "What about this little thing? There is almost no one in the house who can take care of him now. ”She looked at me with her black eyes full of sadness.

A woman appeared before my eyes. A woman whose eyes were as blue as the sky on a clear day and whose womb was empty. Woman from the temple.

"I think we have a solution," I told her. Great-grandmother looked at me wearily and nodded. She was at the end of her strength and needed to rest. Poor water has been the cause of most of the problems that have arisen recently. The women have been in one round for the last few days and both were very tired.

The servant brought the drink and gave it to her grandmother. She took a nap.

Then, with the usual vigor, she turned to me, "Come on, Subhad, don't look here. I'm waiting for your solution. ”There was no anger in her voice, but rather amusement and an effort to bring at least a little humor into this unhappy environment. I told her about the ziggurat woman. "I don't know," she said after a moment's thought. "But go. The child needs to be cared for by someone, but he needs the love of the woman much more. Poison!"

I ran into the temple like the wind and ran after my teacher. He was not in the classroom. The guard told me he had left for the city. So the epidemic spread. They didn't know where to look for the woman. I was clueless. The only one who could help me was the man who was sitting on the top at the time. A man whose body was diabetic. So I went upstairs. I hurried. My determination must have been known, because the palace guard had no problem entering me. I ran, all out of breath and seized, to the last degree of the ziggurat. I was standing again in a hall full of statues and mosaic decorations, not knowing which way to go.

"Are you looking for something, Subhad?" It came from a distance. I looked back and saw the figure. The cold began to rise down my spine and I had a taste in my mouth again. It was him. I ran to him. I bowed with my hands clasped around my chest and said my request.

"Good," he said when he listened to me. Then he called the guard and gave them orders. "Go with them."

We went down the stairs again to the part that went underground to the ziggurat Inanna. So the woman was a temple priestess. The guard remained standing in front of the entrance.

"We can't go there anymore," the man in the red wool skirt told me.

I nodded and knocked at the gate. The older woman opened and let me in. Then she laughed at me: "To serve here, you're a little young, do not you think?"

"I am looking, lady, a woman whose eyes are blue and her womb barren. It's important! "I replied. The woman laughed. "So let's get started. Come on. "

We walked through Inanna's ziggurat rooms. But I didn't see the one I was looking for. We went through almost every part of the area reserved for women, but we did not find it. Tears came to my eyes. The one who accompanied me stopped, "Come on, girl, I'll take you to our commander. Maybe she'll know where to look for her. ”She didn't laugh anymore. She understood that the task entrusted to me was important to me, so she hurried.

We came to the door with a carving of a winged Inanna. The lady said something quietly to the guard. The man came in, we stood in front of the door. After a while, he returned accompanied by a priestess, who indicated that I could move on. I came in. The hall would be beautiful - full of color, aroma and light. The one I was looking for came out from behind the pillar. She had a turban on her head and a ceremonial cloak over her dress. I ran to her, glad to find what I was looking for. Then I stopped. Her office is high and my behavior is inappropriate. I stopped. Bow down. It occurred to me that he might not want to leave the place in the temple. Suddenly my idea seemed silly to me. Why should she leave high office and give up the honor she deserves?

The woman came up to me: "Welcome, Subhad. As I see it, it's time for me to leave my current place in the temple and move forward. ”

I did not understand. But she understood and smiled. Then she gave the order. Two women took off her ceremonial cloak and put it in a box. She sat down on the seat designated by the tallest of the women in the temple and waved. They brought in a woman like Ellit with her black complexion. A beautiful, slender woman with sparkling eyes full of understanding and comprehension. She reached the seat, knelt down, and bowed her head. The lady removed the turban and placed it on the black woman's head. She looked at her commander in astonishment. Then she got up and exchanged places with her. There was astonishment on their faces. Surprise from the unexpected. The blue-eyed one bowed to the one who now took office, took my hand, and we walked away.

The whole situation seemed familiar to me. Like I've ever seen her, as if I've been through her before ...

I walked beside a woman with blue eyes. She was smiling. I knew the smile. It was the same smile I saw when I first came to the temple. The smile on her face as she returned to her seat.

We reached the house. Great-grandmother was waiting for us at the entrance. The lady got out of the car and her great-grandmother bowed to her. She bowed to the one who did not fend for her destiny. Then she led her into the house and told me to stay outside. I sat down on the stairs and felt tired. The sun bent to the horizon. I fell asleep.

I woke up when my grandmother put a hand on my forehead to see if I had a fever. "Come on, Shabad, we'll go home," she said, and helped me into the car.

I looked towards the house and thought about the woman who had just gotten the child she so wanted.

Great-grandmother stayed with them. Their healing abilities will still be needed there. Then I fell asleep again.

It is true that as I grew older, my ability to diagnose diseases diminished. I sensed that something was wrong, but where exactly and why I usually couldn't determine. Nevertheless, I continued to go to ziggurat to learn healing. My great-grandmother thought I would follow in her doctor's footsteps, or at least in her grandmother's footsteps. But I didn't have a talent like Ellit. Accuracy was not my strong point and I lacked dexterity and skill. So I won't be a surgeon. We continued to visit Ziggurat. The school was only for boys, so we had to rely on what they would teach us in the temple.

Ellit became an increasingly better healer and surpassed many of her teachers in surgery. She had more work to do now, and more and more often she helped her grandmother. She also had a circle of patients who asked only for themselves. Both women enjoyed it and let her know. After talking to my teacher, they decided that the only field that was suitable for me was Ashipu - incantation. The great-grandmother always spoke rather contemptuously about this profession, but she still tried to do my job properly. I continued teaching A.zu, but the results were rather poor.

One day I was studying in the library looking for tables with old Urti. Mashmasha - commands and spells. Ninnamaren said the library didn't have many of these things here - I'd find more in Enki's temple, but I didn't give up. Suddenly, out of nowhere, my eyes darkened. Then I found myself again at the edge of the tunnel. My great-grandmother was standing next to me. Young and beautiful as painted by an artist who, out of gratitude for the cure, gave her a portrait of her. I tried to shout no, not yet - but I didn't say a word. Great-grandmother laughed and nodded.

Then she grabbed my hand and said, "My time is coming, Subad. Come, fulfill your duty, and follow me. "

So I went on a journey. I escorted her to the middle of the tunnel. She smiled. There was a storm in me - feelings of regret, rage, and sadness. Then the images faded and darkened.

I woke up and the librarian bent over me. Eyes wide-eyed. Ninnamaren stood near him.

He waited for me to come to me and asked, "Is something wrong, Subhad? You screamed and then you passed out. "

Confusion returned. The pain was so great that I thought it would tear me apart. I began to cry, and despite the sobs I made, I could not speak. Ninnamaren hugged me and soothed me. Ellit came running. Her black skin was pale, her eyes were red. We looked at each other. She knew I knew. No words were needed. While I still couldn't calm down, she talked to my teacher. Then they harnessed the horses and took us home. I didn't notice the way.

It was always uncomfortable and often painful when I was attacked by the emotions of others. Sometimes I felt like I couldn't take more pain. Now I was experiencing my own - intense pain of hopelessness and helplessness. Pain so great that I couldn't imagine it even in my worst dreams.

I missed her. I missed her much objectivity and vigor with which she approached problems. The house suddenly seemed quiet and half dead. The world has changed around. I walked silent and guilty that I could not prevent her death. If only I could take her back like that.

My approach to healing has changed. Suddenly I wanted to follow in her footsteps - to be A.zu, just like her. I visited the library and studied. I dived into old manuscripts and the world around me ceased to exist. Grandma was worried, and Ninnamaren couldn't find a way to bring me back to normal life. What worried him most was how I avoided people. I ran before each meeting with them and carried only the closest ones around me.

"How do you want to heal," he asked me, "if you refuse contact with human pain? When you hide from people? ”

I couldn't answer him. I suspected that this escape was an escape from my own pain, but I had not yet been able to define it. I delayed the moment when I would have to admit this to myself. For now, I've been hiding behind work. I spent a lot of time preparing for healing. Suddenly I was not tempted to be Ashipu - perhaps because my great-grandmother had reservations about this field. And I was trying, at least now, to accomplish what I had paid so little attention to during her life.

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