Ellit became a beautiful young woman. The suitors just revolved around her, but she chased them away with laughter. Although she had little time because she took over her great-grandmother's work, she spent every moment with me if possible. Then she fell in love. She fell passionately in love with a young man from a ziggurat. A tall, dark-skinned man with long hair and rope eyes. She continued to perform her duties in an exemplary manner, but she had now spent the time she had once given me with her love.

Her singing and laughter echoed at home, and she brightened the sad atmosphere that was there after the death of the great-grandmother and my guilt. Her joy came to me and I began to see the world around again. It was a wonderful day. The days when her laughter and happiness illuminated our old house and brought back the former comfort. Then there was a break.

Ellit returned home crying. She locked herself in her room and there was a cry outside her doorway. She refused to win prizes, she didn't want to let her grandmother get in with her. We stood there helplessly and didn't know what was going on. It wasn't released until the next day. Eyes swollen with crying, pale and sad. She came down to the dining room to have lunch with us. We were silent. We didn't want to ask, even though we wanted to know what was the cause of her sadness.

As she grabbed a bowl of water, I noticed that her hands were shaking. It began to freeze around my spine again, and her feelings attacked me with extraordinary intensity. The thought appeared in his head that he needed to talk to his grandmother first. I got up from the table and went out into the garden so they could be alone. I told the maids not to disturb them.

Her pain was slowing down in me. I was angry. The anguish that somebody hurt her and her anger, I can not help her, that I can not alleviate her pain and return her mouth to laughter. I was sitting under the tree and thinking about the situation that had happened over my helplessness. I waited. I waited for Ellit to tell my grandmother and tell me what happened.

Grandma sat down next to me. She motioned with her hand to leave her alone for a while, so I obeyed. Questions, not yet properly formed, raced through my head.

When my grandmother turned to me, I couldn't stand the silence: "How can we help her? How can we alleviate the pain that is in it. I'm helpless, Grandma, "she blurted out, tears streaming down my cheeks. I still had a lot of questions in my head that I couldn't formulate.

"Time will help her, Subad. Time. To mitigate the pain could Aisha - a good Ašipu. But we can not do more for her. "She thought and looked at me. "You know, the word is a great weapon. He can hurt, he can kill himself. But the word can also help. It can relieve pain, it can show the way. But like a cure, the word is not omnipotent. "

I was surprised. I never thought about the power of the word and I didn't quite understand what he meant by that. Great-grandmother treated almost without words, and Grandmother also did not use words in her interventions. I never thought about what the word meant. I never thought about the task of Aship. A.zu was he who knew the power and wisdom of water, so who was Ashipu? One who knows the ancient and eternal power of the word - the breath of the mouth? I do not know it. Urti.Mashmash - commands and spells were a tool of Ashipu, but to translate the ancient text and find the meaning of these with the hunt I could not. Slowly, I began to realize the effect of our emotions on our bodies. If the mind hurts, the body begins to hurt and vice versa. The idea was important - I knew it, but at the moment I wasn't dealing with it anymore.

I did not ask my grandmother what happened to Ellit. And even if I asked, she would not tell me. It was on Ellit, who told him he was sorry for his soul. Just for her.

We went to the house. Ellit went to sleep, exhausted by weeping and pain. Patients needed to be treated. It was the first time that Ellit had forgotten her job. So we both, quietly and carefully, did the work to bring the medication and the human bodies cured. We could not heal the soul.

This experience led me back to becoming Ashipu. The secret of the words attracted me. The power of the breath, the power of the word, and the power of silence began to entice me. Urti Mashmasha - orders and spells seduced me more than I would have liked. I talked to Ninnamaren about it.

He listened and smiled. "We'll do something about it," he said. "Listen, Subhad, everything has its time. And now yours has come. Time to get a new task. It is also a test. A test to see if you can be a good Ashipu. "

He clapped his hands and the guard brought a boy of about ten years old. Brown skin and dark eyes, but his hair was light. Blond hair after her dead mother. Hall. We met again. He stood here now, fear and curiosity in his eyes. I knew the feeling. His eyes wandered to the door. I smiled and welcomed him. I grabbed his little hand. She was cold and trembling.

"Come on, Sine. I'll take you here. But before I show you, we will accompany you… “I stopped. I didn't know who he was here with, so I looked at him.

"... mummy," he said, stepping steadily toward the door.

The lady was standing there talking to Ninnamaren. She saw us and smiled. She gestured to interrupt the conversation and walked over to us.

"Welcome, ma'am," I said, bowing. "Welcome, rare and clean, to Anov's house and glad to see you again."

She smiled. She ran her hand through the boy's blond hair: "I put my son under your protection, Subhad. Please be lenient with him, please. He's a receptive boy, though sometimes disobedient and wild, "she said, looking at him.

I turned to my teacher, "Please, let us accompany you to the rest room. Then I make the boy with zikkurath. When he knows where his mother is, he'll be quieter and he will not be so afraid. "

He nodded sympathetically.

Sina's almost angelic appearance contrasted sharply with his temperament. He was wild, fierce, and talkative, but he learned quickly. Many times I mentally apologized to Ellit for the mischief I had been inflicting on her. Now I had to deal with them myself. Fortunately, I was in charge of Sim only while he was in the ziggurat, then his mother took him home, as my greatest treasure.

My days were now filled with responsibilities. I continued to learn medicine and began to delve again into the secrets of words. In addition to all this, worries about Sin and responsibilities in the house were added. Neither Ellit nor I could sufficiently replace the great-grandmother's skill and experience, and the work was not diminishing.

Ellit did very well. The patients loved and trusted her. She had been quieter and more cautious since the incident, especially in her dealings with young men, but there was still plenty of optimism for those who needed him. Grandma was proud of her. She was glad she had decided to stay and planned to expand the house so that Ellit could have her own part.

Construction was scheduled to begin in the spring, but preparations were already underway with plans and the purchase of materials. Grandma blossomed. She agreed with the head of Inanna's ziggurat that a city infirmary could be established in the lower part of the lower stage, which could also be visited by the poor from the city and its surroundings. At the same time, it would also serve to teach new healers who, under the guidance of experienced ones, could develop their knowledge and skills there. She lived the dream and was looking for funds and gifts that would hasten the construction of the infirmary. Ellit and I helped as much as we could.

Sin's talent was extraordinary. His sense of disease and ability to find cures to alleviate or cure them was the gift he was born with. Sometimes it seemed to me that he already knew what he was being taught now - and that his teaching was actually a reminder. Ninnamaren made fun of us when he said that he was now trying to accomplish what I had predicted at his birth out of gratitude. Despite his ferocity and sometimes haste, there was something tender and loving about him. That "something" attracted people around. They confided in him the things they had carried in them for years, as secrets, and left him relaxed and happier. Despite his talk, he was able to listen and remain silent for a long time. The truth is that he then made up for the moments of silence with a waterfall of words. But he kept the secrets entrusted to him consistently.

He continued his healing teachings at an incredible pace - unlike school. Ninnamaren had to deal with both Sina's complaints about the school and Umma's lament - Professor of E. Dubby, the house of tables that Sin attended. Because of his disobedience and laxity in his duties, he often received sticks, and I began to feel that instead of helping him learn, I was playing the role of nurse in his beaten back. Despite all the reservations about his writing and bad style, he managed to gain respect there with his approach to people. It is strange that the gift of hearing and understanding seems to concern only human worries and not knowledge of mathematics, astrology or literature. Foreign languages ​​went to him. You seem to be associated with his gift of trying to understand and comprehend. His intensity was also a problem. Fights with other students were almost the order of the day. Just as he was understanding on one side, so the other part of his personality exploded for every little thing. On the other hand, he was able to maintain an incredible calm in the most difficult situations. The skill and dexterity of his hands, as well as his ingenuity in the procedures, predestined him to the field chosen by Ellit. She also introduced him to the secrets of Šipir Bel Imti, already in the new infirmary. Sin was excited. During his time off, he forced me, clumsy and unsuitable for this precise work, to dissect with him the animals he brought to the ziggurat. He became known in the area for his skills and ability to heal animals, repair broken limbs and help with difficult births. In return, people brought him gifts, which he laughed or gave to his classmates.

Ninnamaren's knowledge was slowly running out. In the years he had spent in the ziggurat, he had accomplished what took most of it two to three times as long. His talent was admirable and so they decided it was time to continue learning elsewhere. This decision greatly pleased his Ummia, who did not hide his joy at taking a break from the troubled student.

But this decision should have influenced my destiny as well. I was to accompany Sina and continue my education in Erid.

I was looking forward to. On the one hand, I was looking forward to it, on the other hand, I was afraid of saying goodbye. Grandma and Ellit were wonderful. They both reassured me that they could do the work themselves and helped me pack. Ellit regained her former merriment, so I left with a fairly light heart, full of expectations of what new Enki's ziggurat could give me in my teachings.

It was worse with Sin's mother. Farewell to her was not possible without the tears of their beautiful eyes. She entrusted her treasure to me.

"Watch out for him, Subhad, please. Write, often write to keep me calm. ”She said as we left. Sin's father stood beside her, leaning lightly against her, not knowing whether to say goodbye to his son first or reassure his mother. The scent, love, and well-being settled in their house again, now disturbed only by Sin's departure.

We traveled with the guards of the ziggurat Ana and some priests. The long and tiring journey brought Sin and me even closer. Sin was away from home for the first time, and until then he had always been under the protection of his parents, especially his new mother, who tried to fulfill all his wishes even before he uttered them. Now he was dependent only on himself. I must admit that he managed his situation very well - sometimes better than me.

Eridu was an old city and Enki's ziggurat was the oldest of all ziggurats. From the outside, it seemed smaller and less ornate than Ana's or Innan's, but inside we were surprised by the clarity and purposefulness of the space. The interior decoration was special - gold, silver, stones, copper. Metal. Lots of metals.

We stood inside enchanted, looking at the decoration of the walls, walking through the huge library and offices. What was missing from the outside was amply compensated by the interior. The ziggurat lived inside - unlike An's house, it was crowded with people of different races and ages. There were also more women here. What attracted us both most was the library, which occupied almost half of the second grade. A huge number of tables, sorted and cataloged, including adjoining rooms that served as study rooms. A number of librarians whose task was to archive, sort and take care of written words, who are always willing and happy to provide advice on finding materials.

Sin's eyes shone with happiness. His soul longed for new information, and there was a plethora of it. He ran from one part to another and enthusiastically informed me of what he had discovered. Librarians smiled as he bowed to them for clarity in the arrangement of the tables. You got them.

The new environment obviously benefited him. The stimuli and undiscovered wealth provided by the ziggurat motivated him to work, so there were fewer problems with him at school than before. The Ummis in the ziggurat were thrilled with his talent and spared no praise. And because Sin was glad to be praised, he tried his best. He began to devote himself more and more to Šipir Bel Imti - surgery, but he did not consider other fields. The learning took up almost all his free time, but he didn't seem to mind - on the contrary, the whole flourishing th. I could and I sent good news to his mother and father.

I immersed myself in the secrets of Urti Mashmasha - commands and spells, and continued to prepare for the profession of A.zu. Thanks to Sin, the friendliness of the librarians was partially transferred to me, so I spent a lot of time in the library. I rummaged through old tablets and struggled with the long-dead language of my ancestors. I studied the lives of the gods and long-forgotten stories. Words that determine shapes, words that lead to knowledge. Words of understanding and misunderstanding. I immersed myself enchanted in the words of old myths and forgot about the world around me, this time not out of pain, but in an effort to understand the meaning and purpose of words. Find the secret of the word that was in the beginning. What would a world be without words? I tried to find the healing power of the word, but I was still at the beginning of my endeavor.

When the first god came to Earth to build his dwelling on it, he began by naming things around him. So the world started with a word. There was a word in the beginning. First it described the shape, then it gave shape to the things around it. It itself was a shape and a mover. He himself was a builder and a destroyer. The basis of consciousness, the basis of life, because just as an ear grows out of a grain that has fallen to the ground, so consciousness grows from a word. Nothing in itself means that in order to fulfill its purpose, it must be connected with consciousness. It must separate the known from the unknown. And knowledge is usually painful - it carries with it Gibil, destroys illusions about itself and the world around it, attacks the existing certainties and can ravage the soul as Gibil ravages the Earth with its heat, fire and invasions. But everyone has Enki's living water in the owl. The water that irrigates, the water that cools the fire of Gibil, the water that fertilizes the Earth, which can then give life to the grain.

One day, in the middle of studying in the library, Sin ran after me, "Come quickly, Subhad, I need you," he called out of breath, urging me to hurry.

We ran to the hall where Shipir Ber Imti was performing. His face burned, his eyes were unusually bright, and it was easy to guess that he cared very much about what was to come. A man lay on the table. Brown body beautifully built. Spal. I knew what Sin wanted from me, but I wasn't happy about it. I avoided using my abilities. I avoided those unpleasant and painful attacks of foreign emotions. I fled from them. I was still running from the pain they were causing me.

"Please," Sin whispered. "I care, it's…" I stopped him in the middle of the sentence. I didn't want to know who it was. I didn't want to know his name or his position. I liked him. His large palms attracted me and his mouth tempted me to kiss. I have never experienced this feeling before. I approached him and took his hands in mine. I closed my eyes and tried to relax. Cold began to rise around his spine, and pain appeared in his lower abdomen. The body called for help. She defended herself and screamed. I opened my eyes, but my eyes blurred and I stood in the fog again. I didn't hear the words I spoke. Everything went around me. Then it stopped.

When I returned to normal, the people around me were at work. Sin assisted and was fully focused on what he was doing. The Ummni worked quickly. No one noticed me, so I left, because the man's body was in pain now and it was hitting me with all my might. Šipir Bel Imti was not suitable for me, now I knew it. Both the sleeping body and the stunned brain could broadcast messages of their pain, even though there was nothing on the outside.

I entered the garden and sat down under a tree. I was tired, still sore from the new experience and the new feelings the man had evoked in me. I don't know how long I rested. Thoughts raced through my head without ice and storage, and I felt a confusion I had never experienced before. Then one of Lu.Gal, the temple leaders, came to me and asked me to return. I walked reluctantly.

The man's abdomen was already bandaged and his body was painted with La.zu solution. He stepped back as I entered so as not to disturb me. Sin stood nearby, watching me. I reached the man. This time I put my hands on my shoulders. The body screamed in pain, but the taste of death was not there. I nodded and saw out of the corner of my eye as Sin breathed a sigh of relief. Then he came to me, glanced at Ummia's consent, and led me out.

"You're pale, Sabad," he said.

"She'll be fine," I told him, sitting down on a bench by the wall.

"What happened?" He asked. "You've never responded before."

I shook my head. On the one hand, I didn't know anything about my reactions in the hall, and on the other hand, I was not able to define what was going on inside me. I was very confused by all this.

"Do you know who it was?" He said cheerfully. "Ensi." He glanced at me and waited for me to look. "Ensi himself."

Just the mention of the man made me feel contradictory. I had a hard ball in my stomach, my heart began to pound even more, and blood rushed to my face. All of this was mixed with fear, the cause of which could not be determined, and it grew the moment I learned that the man was the high priest and king of Erid. I wanted to cry. Crying from the fatigue and tension I was exposed to, crying from the feelings that overwhelmed me. I was getting more and more confused and needed to be alone. Even now, Sin's sensitivity applied. He led me silently to my room, waited for me to get me a drink, and then left.

My experience with men was - almost none. The relationships I have had so far have never provoked an influx of such emotions in me and have never lasted long. I lacked the beauty and lightness of Ellit, as well as the expressiveness of my great-grandmother. I was rather ugly and taciturn. In addition, it often happened that my thoughts mingled with the thoughts of my partners, and this was not always pleasant. I was also wary of men after experiencing Ellita's pain. Too many inhibitions of one's own, too many streams of thoughts of others caused confusion and fear. Nobody can last this long.

I resisted the feelings that Ensi evoked in me. Feelings strong that caused chaos inside. I got to work again and spent more time than ever in the library. Sin, most likely, knew what was going on, but kept quiet. We only discussed together the feelings that the body gives, even when it is intoxicated, even when it is asleep. It surprised him. He didn't know that. He wanted to ease his body pain, but he didn't want to ask me again to be attacked by foreign diseases. He only exceptionally asked me to help him with my skills. He didn't like them.

Enki's house was a real source of knowledge for me. The library provided treasures I never imagined. Although I had been here for several years, the words kept their secrets. I rather only sensed their power - the power of the word, the power of the image, the power of emotions and the power of perception. But I also discovered new things that I hadn't thought about before. The effect of scents on the mind, the effect of sounds and colors on the body and mind. Everything was closely connected.

My study of A.zu was terminated and so I added the duties of a healer. I had less time to study Aship, but I did not give up. The duty of the new A.zu was to treat the sick in the slums of the city. In the streets full of dirt, in rooms crowded with people. Poverty that attacked from all sides and that brought with it the pain of the soul and the diseases of the body. I enjoyed doing the job, even though it was exhausting. It brought new possibilities for using both A.z and Ashipa's knowledge and led to learning to handle my innate ability better. Sin accompanied me sometimes. With his carefree and kindness, he brought joy to the dark rooms of the house. They liked him. He was able to cure not only human ailments, but he treated their pets with the same zeal, which were as important to their lives as their lives.

He grew up to be a beautiful young man, and his blond hair, large dark eyes, and beautiful figure attracted the gaze of the girls. It flattered him. Any man could envy his love affairs, and they envied him. Fortunately, everything always went without major scandals, so after a while they left him alone again. He was very valuable to them as a physician of extraordinary talent, and the older Umni also consulted with him.

One day I was called to the upper level of a ziggurat to the patient. He was one of the Lu.Gal - the great priests of Enki's shrine. I packed my A.zu medications and tools and hurried after the patient. According to the guards, it was an old man who had trouble breathing.

They took me to my room. The curtains on the windows were pulled back and the room was almost breathless. I ordered to ventilate. I covered the man's eyes with a scarf so that the light would not blind him. He was really old. I looked at him. He was breathing very hard and irregularly, but his lungs were not affected. I asked him to sit on the bed. He took off his scarf from his eyes and looked at me. There was fear in his eyes. Not the fear of illness, the fear I had already seen - the time when the high priest of Ana's ziggurat leaned toward me. So the old man knew about my abilities. I smiled.

"Do not worry, Big, the body is sick, but it's not so bad again."

He calmed down, but I noticed doubts about the truth of my words. I put my hand on his back and relaxed. No, the lungs were fine. "Have you ever had trouble breathing before?" I asked.

He thought about it and said yes. We tried to track together in which period the shortness of breath appeared, but I did not find any regularity or continuity with the seasons. So I prepared a medicine to clear the airways and gave it to him to drink. Then I began to apply ointment to his chest and back. I kept wondering what his troubles might be about. Fresh air blew into the room from outside, moving the curtains. They were thick and heavy, made of quality fabric with a special pattern. Then it occurred to me. I went to the window and touched the fabric. There was something else in my wool. Something that took away the fabric's softness and made it harder and firmer. It just wasn't.

"What's the substance made of, sir?" I turned to the old man. He didn't know. He just said it was a gift and a substance that came from another county. So I had the curtain removed and brought it to the man. His breath worsened. To reassure him, I put my hand on his shoulder and laughed, "Well, we have it!" He looked at me in astonishment. Instead of the original curtains, I had light cotton hangs, which dimmed the light but let the air into the room. A horse appeared before my eyes. "Tell me, Great, weren't your problems in the presence of horses?"

The man thought, "You know, I haven't traveled in a long time. My body is old and I'm used to the discomfort of travel - but - maybe…. you're right. I always had trouble breathing when I received messages. The men rode on horseback. ”He smiled and understood. "So therefore. And I thought it was out of excitement what I would learn from the tables. "

He was still faint with the seizures. His body needed rest. So I changed the medication and promised I would take a day to monitor my health.

I walked out the door and walked through the long corridor to the stairs. I met him there. All the feelings came back. My stomach was full of stones, my heart pounding violently, my blood pounding in my cheeks. I bowed to greet him. He stopped me.

"How is he doing?" He asked. "Is it serious?" His eyes wandered to the old man's door.

"It's all right, Big Ens. It's just a horse allergy. His curtain must have contained horsehair and therefore shortness of breath. ”I bowed my head and wanted to leave quickly. I felt very insecure in his presence. "May I leave?" I asked timidly.

He was silent. He stared at the door. Then he replied. "Oh yes, yes. Of course. "He looked at me and said," Can I go after him? "

The old man was tired as I left: "I think he's asleep now. He was very exhausted, and his sleep would only benefit him. But you can visit him. "

"Will you come tomorrow?" He asked me. It suprised me.

"Yes, sir, I will go every day until he regains strength."

He nodded at the sign of consent, and he saw that he hesitated to enter or leave the man to sleep. Finally he decided for the other, and before turning to go on, he said, "Let's see it."

The next day I went to visit my patient with a beating heart. I stepped up the stairs anxiously. The fear and desire to meet Ensi mingled with me, taking away my strength and disturbing my concentration. In the evening, I tried my best to find the best medicine for Lu.Gala to put him on his feet as soon as possible. In the end, I discussed the whole case with Sin. He was excited. He was thrilled that he got to something new again and that he was one of the Lu.Gal.

I stepped in. The man was still lying on the bed, but it was obvious he was doing better. The faces no longer faded, and the color returned. He read. He lifted his head, nodded for the greeting, and put down the table.

"Welcome," he said, smiling. "They said you asked if you could bring our young healing genius with you."

"Yes sir. I'd love to see you too, but I will not push. I know the old Ummi will certainly care for you better than the two of us. "

"Does that look so bad to me?" He asked, seriously. It wasn't the first time I had encountered this reaction. People who knew about my abilities were mostly scared. It was ridiculous and stupid, but the fight against human prejudice had no hope of winning.

"No, Lu. Gal, that's not the case. Sin is very talented and he's my ward since we were in the ziggurat Ana. He was interested in your case. As you know, Šipir Bel Imti is the most involved, so he doesn't get much into these cases. I am grateful for every new opportunity to expand his knowledge. He has a truly exceptional talent and it would be a shame not to use him. But like I said, I won't insist, "I hesitated, but then continued. "No, your condition isn't really serious, and if you can avoid contact with what causes your allergic attacks, you'll be healthy." I wanted to continue, but stopped me.

"I know it's not easy for you," he looked at the door, then looked up at me. "The young man might wait a little longer." He smiled. "I am not surprised by my fears. Each of us mortals is afraid of the end. That fear is then passed on to you, because you know. I apologize for my tactlessness. "He smiled, looked at the door again, and added," Well, now you can let him go. I'm curious about him too. "

I called Sina. He entered, his face flushed, a gleam in his eye that always appeared in moments of excitement. The man smiled, breaking the moment of tension. They exchanged a few words together. Sin calmed down and we started examining the man. He was in really good condition for his age. Still weakened by previous seizures, but otherwise healthy. Sin, now relaxed and talkative, as always, brought his joy to the room. We painted the body with ointment, gave the medicine and finished.

I thanked the man for his willingness and kindness with which he received both of us. We wanted to leave. The man released Sina, but asked me to stay. It stopped me. Anxiously, I sat down on the offered chair and waited.

"I wanted to talk to you again - but you can refuse," he said. It was obvious that he was trying to formulate his questions and that he did not know how to start. He looked at me and kept quiet. Images began to run through my head. Suddenly a question arose - he wanted to know what death was, how it took place, and what was going on inside me.

"I think I know what you want to ask, sir. But I never formulated it for myself. I do not know whether I am able today to give you a satisfactory answer. For me, it's a series of feelings, mostly unclear, accompanied by different feelings, "I paused, I did not know where to start. I did not know how to describe what was happening outside of me rather than in me.

"I do not want to insist," he said. "And if you do not want to talk about it, you do not have to. Take it as the curiosity of an old man who wants to know what's waiting for him on the other bank. "

I laughed. "Well, sir, I really can not answer. That's far from my ability. "

He looked at me in amazement. I stopped because my comment really wasn't the best and I wanted to apologize, but it stopped me.

"Where did you go?" He asked. He was serious. There was fear and curiosity in his eyes. So I described my experience with the tunnel. I described what I had experienced so far and the pain I felt when I accompanied my great-grandmother. He listened and was silent. He could be seen thinking.

"Have you never talked about it?"

"No, sir. Some things are hard to describe, and to tell you the truth, I didn't even try. People are afraid of most of these things. Maybe that's why he refuses to accept them. Mostly they don't even want to hear about them. You're the first to ask me that.

"It must be the great loneliness you live in. It has to be a huge burden. The ability you hide has to be exhausted. "

I thought. I never thought about it. "I do not know. You know, I've had this ability since I was a kid. I didn't know what it was like to be without her. I even think that when I was little, my sensitivity was stronger than now. Both grandmother and great - grandmother were so wise that by the time this ability developed, they did their best to learn how to handle it. That's why I visited ziggurat at such an early age. "

The man began to get tired. So I ended our conversation - though I don't like it. This conversation was very important to me too. For the first time I was able to share my experience and it was very liberating. I didn't even think about Ensi at that moment.

Our interviews have become regular and continued after healing. He was a very wise man and also very curious.

"Shubad," he once told me, "one thing bothers me," I looked at him expectantly. "Remember when you tried to explain your experience of death to me?" I nodded. "How did you know what I wanted to ask?"

If people were afraid of anything more than death, it was my forays into their heads. But I couldn't control this. I never went anywhere on purpose. It just happened and I couldn't stop it. But it could be prevented. I knew that. The experience of my arrival at An's ziggurat confirmed this. The flow of thoughts could be stopped - but I didn't know how.

"Shabad, are you listening to me?" He called out to me. I looked at him. I had to think for a long time before I realized it myself.

"Yes," I replied, "I'm sorry, sir, I thought." I searched for words for a moment, but then decided to say what came to my mind at that moment. Maybe he'll be able to sort it out. I tried to explain to him that there was no intention. Images, thoughts suddenly appear before your eyes and I myself don't know what to do with them. I also said that I don't always know what I'm saying at the time. Sometimes it's as if things go beyond me. He listened intently. I ran out of words, I was tired and embarrassed. I was confused and I didn't know what I was saying.

"How does it work?" He asked, clarifying. "How does it work when it happens? How is it? Describe it! Please try. "

"Sometimes it starts with emotion. Feeling - rather unconscious - something does not fit. Something is different than it should be. It is nothing definite, tangible, conscious. It goes beyond me and at the same time it is within me. Then an image appears - vague, rather suspected, and suddenly foreign thoughts enter my head. They are not sentences in the true sense of the word - they are a mixture of sometimes words and feelings, sometimes images and intuitions. But most of all, it's very annoying. I feel like I've gotten somewhere I don't belong and I can't stop it. I feel like I'm manipulating and being manipulated at the same time. I can't stop it myself, but it can be stopped. I know it."

He handed me a scarf. Without realizing it, tears streamed from my eyes. I wiped them. I felt embarrassed. I was afraid he wouldn't believe me that what I was saying was very unlikely, but most of all I was afraid he would start to be afraid of me. Interviews with him were very important to me. They relieved me of my own pain and gave me the information I needed to become a good Ashipu.

He came to me. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, What are you afraid of? You always have the chance to explore your emotions if you have doubts. "He smiled at my embarrassment and asked," How do you know it can stop? "

I described to him in detail the situation that took place in Ana's temple. I didn't know who stopped the process, but I knew someone had to stop it. Maybe Ninnamaren would know who has similar abilities. I didn't know more.

He thought. He was silent for a long time and the tension began to subside. He was right. I could always explore his emotions, I could always find out what was going on. The only thing that kept me from doing this was the fear of learning something I didn't really want to know.

Suddenly he said, "Maybe he has the same ability of Ensi Anova's zikkuratu. I will try to find out. Listen, Sabad, who still knows you have that ability? "

"No one but Grandma and Ellit," I replied, and a picture of the priest who came to our house at the time came before my eyes. "No, sir, there's someone else who most likely knows about it." I told him about the man's visit and what had happened as I left the room. But I've never seen him again. He asked me questions for a while and asked for details, so we didn't notice that Ensi had appeared in the room.

"You know," he said, "it is very unlikely that they will take you to the temple so small. And if they accepted you, then you had an intercessor, "he paused," ... most likely, "he added after a moment.

My heart began to pound. Feelings came back and attacked. I wanted to stay and I wanted to go away. In some way I ended the conversation and said goodbye. The confusion in me grew and I did not know how to stop him.