4 years ago, I happened to look into a discussion on the VaseDite.cz server, where one of the readers asked the others: "Is lying good to children?". I hid the discussion because this topic has extensive context, especially when we realize that we often confuse fairy tales with reality for children. And because children do not yet understand concepts such as lie, deception, deception, fiction, they take our words quite sincerely and seriously. After all, we are the big parents who know how things work in this world.

So I would like to quote some parts of the posts from the thread, which no longer exists on the above-mentioned server. However, I believe that this topic is still relevant.

Lien, 3. 11. 2009 in 12: 37

Hello, I read here ... different discussions and answers in counseling and yesterday and today I came across two views that are nice to me from one side and not another. So I am asking. Is he lying to children good?

One case is from HP about a sleeping fairy, as her little one falls asleep when her sleepy fairy leaves her chocolate money on her table. It seems to me super, but I'm actually lying to the kid, it's not so great anymore.

The second: You give a mother a son who has a friend whose mother died to talk to him about it, and she gave him an example of herself when her boyfriend's childhood became the same thing. Good idea, but again it is a lie presented to a child, albeit in good faith.

I would love to have your child lying at all, do you think it's impossible or wrong?

3 11 2009 in 13: 01

Hello Lien,

I do not think the upbringing of a child is about lying in a certain sense, but rather, if I promise anything, I keep it, that's my credo.

As far as quotations of lying are concerned, you know a lot of children have learned a few examples of fairy tales, trying to distinguish good from evil or insanity from justice.

You know I was a year ago with one of my acquaintances who had a nearly five-year-old girl. It was a child like any other, but something was different. She was too realistic. The fairy tales did not say anything to her, and it was quite apparent to her fantasy. So it was not possible to talk to her about the child's wave, but only on the adult wool, which seemed to her quite unnatural. At that time, I thought I did not think so :-)

That's why we need the fairy. Eli reacts enough to fairy tales and she likes to create fairy tales. If she can focus her mind on this kind of fantasy, I work better with her. Yes, now we have a fancy fairy who wears her chocolate ducati when she does something. But I don't think it was wrong. She is still at the age when she does not insist that she must see her, otherwise she does not believe she exists :-)))) On the contrary, it is nice when she comes in the morning and asks if she was so good that the fairy left her here. It really works and tries to earn something from it :-)

As I said at the beginning, I'm so keen on paying close attention to what I promise. I think there is much more to this child, that is, the failure to fulfill the promise. So if I promise her something, I'm damn good to make it feasible, or if the failure is related to the bad weather, so a reliable answer why it's not.

So for me, such little children should read as many fairy tales as possible, because especially in the classic ones there are many examples of life and children eavesdrop on what is good and what is bad, and what life situations can occur. Now I can see with my daughter that she is doing some things from fairy tales with real life and it is not that she fantasized :-) I do not think that she knows how to lie to her, I just try to motivate her with fairytale characters :-)

Sueneé  (4, 11, 2009 in 11: 31)

I would say that the basic idea should be, do you want to teach your child to lie? Children at this age are just learning to distinguish between good / bad, true / false. It is all the more disappointing for them to find out that you are actually cheating on them and not telling them the truth. Lying in what higher interest "to have a beautiful childhood" seems wrong to me.

I would suggest you not say anything you're not worth. So nothing - which you don't believe in yourself and what you can't defend, and that he'll ask you one day: "And Mom, why did you tell me that Jesus exists when it's not true?". At that moment, you betray her trust in you.

I personally feel better to show the child that you can have anything in your fairy tales and ideas. Fairies, dragons, elves ... Just in that fantastic fantasy, you can have what you want. The fairytale is a mixture of reality and fiction and can inspire anyone without any age difference.

I would definitely support her imagination and creativity. If she believes that elves are in the real world, I would leave it to her imagination. :) Basic idea: Don't lie if you don't want her to lie to you one day.

Teaching a Baby: "If you are worthy, your fairy will give you chocolate money", it will come to me as a deep emotional extortion.

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