"TO YOURSELF". That one word would be enough to express the whole idea, but it would be not enough for an article.

In the last few days, I've been thinking about what worries me most in everyday life - making decisions. We decide every day, in both small and large matters, in things that will affect the next couple of hours (what I do for breakfast) to things that will affect the rest of my life (who I'm marrying for). The bigger the decision, the more hesitant: how to decide?

What would you decide?

Should I look for a measure by which I can "objectively" measure what is right for me? I have to ask - mom, husband, teacher… What man has a different opinion. Should I use this or another school of opinion? What a school, it's a different opinion. I have a lot of opinions, but no answer. How to decide?

The fact that I have to decide for myself may seem clear. Who else will advise you ... But it is not so obvious, because it is more common that we decide on the surroundings. Even if we do not admit it, we're still wondering what our husband or kids will say to our new hairstyle, we do not care if our parents will be troubled if we move to the other side of the globe. We do not care because we do not live in a vacuum. Who can make you happy, who can make you happy - but mainly, how do you do it to make it the best decision for me?

Neither man is united

Even man himself is not united. One part only wants to go to the mountains, the other to the sea. And if there were only two parts, it would still be easy. There are many parts in a person's personality, they are hidden, and when a decision is approaching, they say, "I want ice cream today," says one part. "No, it's cold, don't have ice cream," says the other. "You're fat, don't give yourself anything," says the third. And a fourth and a fifth would be added with their opinion… Thoughts are running through each other in our heads and we are still at the beginning: we cannot decide. Or we decide, but then we have remorse: "the ice cream was good, but what if I catch the flu and gain a pound?"

The answer is therefore: believe yourself

So the answer to the question "Who or what to trust?" Is the answer for me: believe in yourself. Not logic and reason, but feelings, feelings. A word that describes "what" to believe is hard to find, one would say "intuition" and the other would immediately ask "and how do you know it"? "Feeling" is a state where you know that you have to decide so and so, otherwise you would betray yourself. And yes - a lot of our parts are coming and the decision excuses us: "you can't do this, it's not done", "what the family would say", "what the neighbors think of you", "but you wanted it yesterday / last week otherwise "," you promised it and that you wouldn't do it !!! "and many others.

And now it will come: to stand behind yourself and your "feelings". Yes, it is not some "logical" certainty that can be explained to others. No arguments, just a feeling. Feeling at risk of changing that feeling tomorrow. So what.

Let us rely more on your feelings

One of the biggest scarechers when I try to make a decision is the fear that I can not rely on myself. What if I promise something today and I will not want to keep it tomorrow? What then? Will I become irresponsible to others or will I betray my feeling? It's a lot of hard decision making and it does not always happen as I wish. But I'm learning. Lately I've been trying to promise less and more to put my feelings on. If I promise what I can not do, I apologize - and I try to make it happen next time. And it will happen again. So I apologize again ... I learn to listen to myself so that the apologies that come after the promise is not as small as possible. And to betray myself as little as possible. It's the way.

With the arch I return to whom and what to trust. To myself and my feelings. There is no one else in the world (and yes, neither partner or parents) who would know better than you what is right for you. Every person has his compass inside himself, and even the closest people don't feel exactly what you do. What is good for others may not be good for you, and vice versa. Each of us is unique and therefore the beaten paths do not lead in the right direction. Though you get to where others get… which is usually not where you should be.

Go your own way. Happy journey!