The biggest adventure and challenge is to discover who we really are. For some, trying to find oneself may be selfish, but it is the opposite. In fact, it is a selfless process that drives all our actions and actions. In order to be a great partner, friend or parent, it is necessary to know ourselves what we want from life and its surroundings and what we can offer.

The process of cognition

This process includes less pleasant stages. Stages that can be painful, but still a necessary part of this process. They involve the disintegration and release of layers that do not serve us in our lives, that negatively stone us or hurt us. Everything is conditioned by knowing and realizing who we really are and what moves us forward. This process is a reflection of our inner strength but also of our vulnerability. The following 6 hints can help you go through this process.

1) Accept your past

To truly discover who we are and what we want, we need to know our own story. Let us be brave and dive into our past, because it can shape us more than you think. Be it hidden childhood traumas, hurt feelings and hate feelings. All of this is shaping us and we need to face it all and better understand why we make all this sense and it touches us so much.

The environment, opinions and attitudes of the environment in which we grew up have a great influence on how we behave in adulthood. Painful childhood experiences often determine how we evaluate and defend ourselves. For example, if we had a very tough and demanding parent, we might have a stronger tendency to protect ourselves, or, on the contrary, do everything possible to gratify our surroundings. It is important to understand your motives and their origins.

If we try to hide our own painful experiences, not to admit them, we may feel lost. We can act intuitively in a certain way, and we will not understand why. For understanding the causes we can use for example Mindsight technique, hypnosis, regression therapy, painting, etc. After understanding and acceptance, even the most demanding moments can become our natural part, which in turn will shift us in the development, not hinder it.

The following 4 steps also help:

Step 1: Let us refrain from criticizing ourselves and others. These pushy thoughts and negative self-esteem can literally undermine our feet.

Step 2: If we express a negative opinion on ourselves, let us be sure that it is our opinion. That it is not a negative opinion from parents, friends or colleagues.

Step 3: Let's try to give up defensive patterns that are a reaction to the painful experiences of childhood.

Step 4: Let us develop our own values, goals and ideals.

2) Find meaning

Survival often depends on finding the meaning of life and joy even in the most demanding conditions. People who survived concentration camps could tell. Let's try to find our own meaning in life, which does not always have to coincide with other people's opinions. The happiest people are not always those looking for one-off pleasures, often more fortunate people who have their goals and principles, and are looking for joy in the most ordinary things.

3) Think about what you want

In life, we may often have the urge to complain more about what we failed to do than to notice what we did. Let's try to focus more on positive thoughts and evaluations, less on what we have not done or do not want. Let's be happy, feel in love, be successful… Let's not listen to the inner drummers who can remind us that we don't deserve what it does…

Let's try to project this into communication as well. When we're with a partner, let's not say, "You never listen to me, you don't care about me." Instead, let's say, "I wish I could be heard and perceived more." Changing expression can do more than we think. We will be much closer to our partner.

4) Recognize your personal strength

Personal power is based on the trust and strength we gain during our development. Let us find the strength to reject the views and opinions that can be imposed on us. Let's find the strength to be sure of our own views, to stand by them.

5) Practice compassion and generosity

Mahatma Gandhi once said: "The best way to find yourself is to get lost in the service of others.". Research often shows that people are more happy with giving than taking. Therefore, let us be generous and compassionate, helping others.

6) Remember the value of friendship

We do not choose the family we are born into, but this family shapes and influences us. But we can choose friends. Therefore, let us allow only those individuals who make us happy, who support and develop us. In this way we create our own circle of people, which we can call "family".

Tip for eshop Sueneé Universe

Heinz-Peter Röhr: Conditional Childhood - Restoration of Confidence

Every person should experience beautiful childhood. When this is not the case, it can have consequences during adolescence and adulthood. In his publication, Heinz-Peter Röhr proposes simple solutions that can help such people recover self-assurance and independence.

Heinz-Peter Röhr: Conditional Childhood - Restoration of Confidence